I love lazy Saturdays, where I can go to Panera and spend hours drinking coffee and playing around on the Internet to my little heart’s content.
I recently read a book (an amazing book) titled Take This Bread and that that phrase keeps coming back to me over and over again.
I’ve realized that most of my contentment or discontentment in life comes from my projection of the future. Instead of living in the moment I tend to want to predict what the future will be…based on the moment. So, if I things are going well (i.e. how I want them to) I predict that they will continue to and that my whole life will be rosy. On the other hand, if things are not going well (i.e. not how I want them to) I predict that this is my lot in life and the whole thing is a wash.
The Bible says not to worry (Matthew -34), not to be anxious (Philippians 4:5-7), not to boast about the plans you’ve made for your life (James -17). Yet that is what I spend most of my time doing.
As He often does, God has used a myriad of books, movies, music, events, and people in the past several months to teach me one very important thing: Live today. Take This Bread, Take This Bread, Take This Bread. I keep imagining a piece of bread. Like those chunks of bread you sometimes get when you do the Lord’s Supper at church. A magnified, square piece of wheat bread, with a little crust on two sides. And I keep hearing God say in my heart this is your piece of bread, today – touch it, taste it, smell it, feel it, absorb it, be nourished by it, consume it, love it, this is it. Today. Just like the Israelites had to wait each day for Me (God) to give them more manna from heaven, you will have to live each day. One at a time. Fully.
So I have been. And anytime I start to get ahead of myself and fret about the future or feel discouraged by the moment I hear the Spirit say Take This Bread. This is your bread. And you know what? It fills me with such joy and peace. I think I’m finally starting to understand what Jesus meant when He said to be like a child (Luke -17). Children rarely worry about the future or wish the days away. Very young children often don’t even have a true concept of time – they’re so absorbed in the moments of everyday life. That’s what I want to be like.
I also think I’m realizing the beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit and why it is so valuable to God (1 Peter 3:4). I use to think a gentle and quiet spirit meant a gentle and quiet outer demeanor. Now I know it is most definitely a condition of the heart and it is a glorious condition of the heart.
Sometimes it feels like my heart cannot physically contain how wonderful He is.